- Truly care about the person that you want to give feedback to, and willing to help her/him succeed. That way, you’ll show care and kindness in your message.
- Give people constructive criticism, help them understand where to get better and what to do next. You may not have nice things to say and they may not be comfortable about what you say, but if it helps them improve, you should say it. Avoid the mindset that “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it.”
- Praise in public, criticize in private. Don’t praise just to make others feel better, instead, show them what’s valued.
- Form a habit and culture of giving and getting feedback, by constantly doing it. Ask for feedback proactively. Prepare for the mindset. Give feedback as soon as it’s needed, don’t save it up.
- Getting feedback: 1) When getting feedback, listen with the intent to understand, not respond — actively listen & check for understanding. 2) Reward the candor & follow up — we don’t have to take on every single suggestion given to us, but we should follow up and let the feedback giver know why we follow or don’t follow her advice.
- Giving feedback: 1) Focus on the matter, not the person. Express it humbly. Don’t say “you’re wrong”, say “I think that’s wrong, why do you think that’s a good way to do it?” 2) Be helpful, talk about situation (S), behavior (B) and impact (I), make it clear on what you hope to achieve. 3) Don’t try to always accompany solutions with feedback, it’s impossible, but you can find ways to figure it out together. 4) Use body language and avoid digital message communication.
I really love the quote he ended the workshop with: “Feedback is not measured by your mouth; it is measured by the listener’s ear.”