Recently, I have often been nagged by tiny negative thoughts. One example is that after showing my work to a co-worker, he pointed out a very obvious logic issue. Well, I didn’t notice it at all. My mind immediately went “Oh my god! I suck!”
The moment I started focusing on what I didn’t do well, I started drowning myself into a black hole of negativity. I felt my work sucked, my skills sucked, myself sucked and everything sucked. Hours after that, that bad moment kept floating back to the surface and nagging me, very annoying. I had to shake my heads to shake it away.
I would love my thoughts to be “Thank goodness! Thank you for pointing it out, it is not too late to correct it”. I would love my actions to be: take the feedback, correct it and we are both happy.
It sounds easy — just reframe “I didn’t do it well” to “How can I fix it? Next step, 1, 2, 3…”. Basically, change my focus from problems to solutions.
The reframing doesn’t come naturally, though. I will keep reminding and training myself:
- Think less “I suck!”, think more “here are steps 1, 2, 3 to make it better next time”;
- Put focus not on the problems, but on solutions and next steps;
Worry less about what’s happening now and in the past. Think “forward”.